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1. |
As You Believed
04:54
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Mother may suspect small hayloft sin
To Father, not a whisper where we’ve been.
With a boy you never would forget
You rolled a corn silk cigarette –
That confession, they’re awaiting yet.
But as blameless babes might end in purgatory
You’d find another ending to that story
In the end you know there’s goodness, then there’s glory.
And you believed, and went in first
And you believed, and saw them nursed
And you believed, not saving face
And rose to tend a stranger’s grief
And spread the balm of your belief, your saving grace
As you believed.
I was second youngest for a while
Now I can’t remember mother’s smile
For the soul who would have numbered seven
Is testing all her faith in heaven
A dark weight your small light cannot leaven
As you listened for the comforts left unspoken
Rejecting as you must an awkward token
A promise first deferred and finally broken
Still you believed, but mustn’t touch
Still you believed, but not too much
Still you believed she did her best
Until it seemed that all her grief
Could settle into your belief, and finally rest
As you believed
Doctor I don’t need you anymore
I’ve met the man you must have cured me for
With a name no harder to pronounce
That I never once heard you denounce
All your silent treatments might announce
That your loyalty so stubborn once excited
Would will away the doubts our faults ignited
Our fragility unguessed at while we slighted
All you believed, but we did not
While you believed, we only thought
Well you believed, and treacherous,
For now it seems that in our grief
We’ve found the depths of your belief in us
As you believed, you believed, you believed.
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2. |
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Get your bags, the sun has set,
The moon is on the rise.
We’re traveling by night this time,
We can’t yet close our eyes.
Space is small but, after all,
There’s only you and I.
And framed within your window,
In the vast familiar sky,
You’ll see: the moon is coming with us,
Her orbit locked with ours.
Our wheels turn with the planets,
High beams shine with the stars.
As tides recede before us,
We’re bathed in silver light.
The moon is coming with us,
Out on the road tonight.
Better still, forget the bags,
We’ll leave it all behind.
We’ve lived through every phase by now,
And I won’t change my mind.
This hasn’t been the kind of place
That asks “remember when?”
Those towns and cities speeding past,
We’ll never see again.
But the moon is coming with us...
It’s lunacy to run like this,
Or maybe it’s a dream:
We’ll wake to streaming sunlight,
One another set agleam.
In such illumination
We’ll see every gift bestowed.
There really is no dark side,
Just the cycle, just the road.
And the moon that’s coming with us...
...no we’re not alone tonight.
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3. |
Embroidery
03:19
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It’s Monday, it’s washday, we’ll start our routine
As I stand before you prepared to come clean
And it’s hard work, our hands red from the wringing
Hauled up from the river, hung out to dry, swinging alone…
By Tuesday we’re pressing ahead anyway
The steam, the caressing, our fears smoothed away.
If we linger too long over one last goodbye,
I could be scorched by the look in your eye.
On Wednesday we’ll have seen
Such tears in the fabric, the loose gaping seam.
We’re sewing back buttons torn off in our haste
Impermanent joining, we’ve only to baste.
To market, to market, on Thursdays we buy
We pay what they ask and we don’t question why.
For restocking shelves is a gesture of trust,
Refilling canisters, spilling gold dust.
Come Friday we’ll clean up the mess that we’ve made
Order for chaos, the usual trade
For Saturday’s kneading and rising, warm fragrant decay.
On Sunday we’ll lay it to rest.
Stop work and agree that we gave it our best.
Laid on with a trowel, or stitched on a towel,
Our days are blessed. Our days are blessed.
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4. |
Voyager
03:27
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If you’re reading this I never made it out.
It’s no good to entertain false hope or doubt.
My directive was precise:
Take measure once, then don’t think twice.
If you’re reading this I did not hesitate
Or if I did turn back by then they’d barred the gate
And if you’re reading this I guess you didn’t wait.
If you’re hearing this the capsule made good time
The record of our world caught in its prime.
How could I presume to choose
A kiss, a heartbeat, one man’s blues?
An offering, a sacrificial dance.
Such optimism as we dared advance
But if you’re hearing this we never stood a chance.
Now don’t flinch, don’t choke, just play along.
If you just stay quiet, I’ll stay gone
And if you’re watching this she’s probably watching too
A third eye in a watchtower built for two
My voice so easy to locate:
She speaks, and you triangulate
You’ve placed me on that line from love to hate
And I’d ask you both to intercede with fate
But if you’re watching this it’s already too late.
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5. |
Shallow Pool
02:14
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We’re in the pool, the shallow pool
The water’s fine, and you are mine
We practice strokes, and splash those other folks
But they don’t mind, not while the water’s fine
And you are mine.
We never dive, we’d hurt our heads
The ground so smooth and slick and solid in these shallow beds.
And if we had to we could stand and walk right out –
Instead we turn, we shout: Come in be mine; the water’s fine.
I’ll float alone here, happy just to be
Thinking about you thinking about me.
Float long enough this pool becomes the sea…
Out on the banks, a little rest.
The sun beams down – it loves us best.
And if we asked them to each grain of sand would rise, would shine
Raising one voice divine: come in the water’s fine!
And you are mine.
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6. |
The Violin Song
02:42
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Once the world was split in two
You appeared, I thought you flew.
Now your craft’s a starship zooming
Peaceful like a sonic booming.
Out into some star filled stream
Where, floating in a fever dream,
You brought this home where we were grounded
Hopes pitched high and dreams unbounded.
I’ll loan you some words till you find your own
You loan me your life and we’ll call that home
I’ll hold up your bow till you hold your own.
Unpressed truth in your smooth face
Only upright, never base
Memories leave me grave and fretful
Fretless, may you stay forgetful...
Now the maestro’s still a boy
The violin a tinker toy
If I can keep out of your way
You can take this back some day
And make it say what you would say…
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7. |
Get Well Soon
04:06
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Your rabbit’s foot was powder blue, but maybe that was mine
Who possessed which good luck charm, which talisman to ward off time?
Now you seem sure each cell reflects not luck but love
Though some, like lambs, might go astray, good shepherds watching from above pray:
Get well soon, oh get well soon.
At training camp for sleeper cells identities collapse
United in our misery from Reveille and straight through Taps
Now you’ll forgive my terror if we disagree
We’ve been activated on different sides of the infirmary
Oh get well soon, please get well soon
I’ll keep you covered as you are; I won’t undress your battle scar
If you’ll get well soon.
In this waking nightmare my suspicions are confirmed:
You, in fact, are too good for this world.
I might strike a simple bargain in the name I’ve often cursed
It’s the details in this deal with the devil again…
Don’t leave us nurse – oh nurse – before we get well soon
Oh get well soon
I won’t discover who you are; you let me wear your battle scar
And just get well soon.
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8. |
Love Song
03:39
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Some girls must figure this out sooner
Maybe when they’re leaning on the Easy Bake
Planning every layer in the wedding cake.
This flower must be a late bloomer
Before I met you darling I could never see
But since you ask it’s come to me:
I don’t want to get married.
Oh it’s sweet to see you down on your knees
But you know all those flowers would only make us sneeze.
I don’t want to get married.
They talk a lot about it so there must be a catch
But I don’t think I mind if our flatware doesn’t match.
I don’t want to get married but if you say you do, I do.
If you say you do then I do too.
White is not my color and spaghetti straps won’t do
I just want to love, honor, cherish you.
I want to fight about it so we know it’s strong
Then spend the whole night dancing to our song.
I don’t want to get married.
The sentiment is borrowed and the words aren’t new,
But I want to be there when you’re old and when you’re blue.
Are there two sides of the aisle so the families won’t fight
Until the politics of buffet mixes later in the night.
From the wind I hear the march begin the tensions grow
The flower girl is terrified and then she steals the show – no!
I don’t want to get married.
I don’t need to watch while you do violence to a glass
Or have some out of work Elvis bless us in Vegas
Up-do, down-do, chignon, it’s a pain in the ass
But if you say you do, I do. If you say you do then I do too.
Say you do, I do.
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9. |
Not a Lullaby
02:07
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This is not a lullaby; you won’t be soothed to sleep
Your sobs a gentle melody, but I will let you weep.
Your perfect rhythm all inside is all the time we’ll keep
And I won’t sing, I’ll only breathe your song into me deep.
And who knows all you’re hearing? I can’t guess…
The harmony too beautiful, god, your distress
If I could stop the stream of sounds that come out wrong
You could fill the air with your pure song.
But this is not a lullaby; you won’t be soothed to sleep
You won’t be fooled you won’t be told
The mystery’s too deep
Your every cry is music now
If I have ears to hear
I’ll listen to your breath’s song
Only sleep a little, dear.
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10. |
The Ones That Got Away
03:48
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Still working out what I would say
To all the ones that got away
The ones who staked their claim inside
Who conquered, then did not divide.
The ones I never got to hold
Who in their youth already old
Showed me how the flesh is weak
To those shy spirits, could I speak?
I’m sorting out the words I’d choose
If finding nothing left to lose
I took the chance to start again
To squarely face each could have been
Delivering just speech
As meaning whispered each to each
Nursed grievances have kept at bay
All the ones that got away
And you. To you such talk is cruel.
To you, who stay, always too much to say.
Now sirens passing by outside
Sound tentative – they can’t decide.
They’re holding back a little bit
Racing hearts, but can’t commit
An urgent message just the same
And anyway I changed my name
I named each one again today
To silence all the ones that got away.
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11. |
Exult
04:08
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It’s a game we used to play
In the days when neither one of us
Knew we’d meet and grow apart some day
You want me to say that I’m ashamed,
A victory in what?
A stupid, childish, game.
But I got in the last word,
Your angry silence was the last thing I heard.
You forgot rule number one,
Your guard slipped and I won, I won.
And it almost feels the same
I’m eight years old again and
I just slammed the door on my best friend.
I won’t have to hear I’m wrong again
Oh it seemed so important then,
And now.
I got in the last word…
After all it seems a fitting way
For something stunted anyway
To so abruptly die.
Whatever lived between us stopped growing
Long before it reached the age
Of a mature goodbye.
That’s why I got in the last word…
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12. |
Just Your Eyes
03:47
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They’re just eyes,
They’re not windows open on the wide green valley of your soul
Or shuttered up against old fears of what you might control
They’re the other kind of irises and not the flower
Through that lens you strain to see without a higher power
And all your visions come as some surprise
When after all they’re only eyes
They’re just your eyes,
Not the fields the sky the sea the gathering storm
They can’t hear or touch or taste all this take form
They’re not reflecting pools luminous and true
Sometimes I might misremember their fine hue
If love is colorblind or taken in by small disguise
Can’t trust those eyes, not just your eyes.
And true they mostly see what they want to see
But once in a while maybe that could be me
I’m not so farsighted either
And seeing you up close might make me a true believer
Even though they’re just your eyes…
Not beacons flashing on the brink of the abyss.
Careful if you blink them think what you might miss.
If you closed them now or even glanced away
Would I still be here, would my own light stay?
They’re not stars to follow which way my home lies
As this day dies,
They’re still just eyes.
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13. |
Housework
03:01
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The hardest thing about it is how it’s never, ever done
Everything’s in order, seasons shift, you find you’ve just begun
The final load is folded, now you’ve gone and washed another one
Remember how it seemed like keeping house together would be fun?
Now how’re we gonna get this housework done?
How’re we ever gonna get our housework done?
Because there’s too much to do each day,
To keep it from slipping away…
With every surface dusty, no old pledge could cut through that
All our rooms seem musty and our unmade bed a haven for the cat
The tarnished silver can’t reflect your face or mine,
It used to seem so easy – just a smile could make this whole place shine
And now this is our life.
We’re both here wishing we had a housewife
With cheerful mop, judicious broom, airing every single room
Each corner yields to her vacuum, each closet freed from darkness and from gloom
The sink is full again those greasy pans could make me cry
Make me chafe against it all and wonder why we even try
But as you stand there scrubbing, I suppose that I could dry
Side by side together, every single day, and that’s
Why we’re gonna get this housework done
Why we’re always gonna get our housework done
Because there’s so much to do each day,
To keep it from slipping away.
The nicest thing about it is how it’s never really done
Every day another chance to wash the windows, let in the sun.
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14. |
Chapter Book
04:04
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I don’t think we’ll end this thing tonight
With all those pages stacked up on the right
Maybe we should just switch off the light…
I miss the gentle closure of each rhyme
The simple repetition marking time
Where each adventure’s finally so much counting sheep
Driving us inexorably to sleep.
But look, we’re in this chapter book.
With one brave move we shook
All the pictures and bright hues
Into words we’ll learn to use
This chance we took, this chapter book
Last night our whole world was washed in dyes
Every page could saturate our eyes
Now a pencil sketch would make us glad
The shadow of the colors we once had
And wandering through these lines we’ll lose our place
We’ll leave a trail of dog ears to retrace
Returning every night to find untold
The story, patient, waiting to unfold.
And look, we’re in this chapter book…
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