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As You Believed

from As You Believed by Kathy Sparling

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lyrics

Mother may suspect small hayloft sin
To Father, not a whisper where we’ve been.
With a boy you never would forget
You rolled a corn silk cigarette –
That confession, they’re awaiting yet.
But as blameless babes might end in purgatory
You’d find another ending to that story
In the end you know there’s goodness, then there’s glory.
And you believed, and went in first
And you believed, and saw them nursed
And you believed, not saving face
And rose to tend a stranger’s grief
And spread the balm of your belief, your saving grace
As you believed.
I was second youngest for a while
Now I can’t remember mother’s smile
For the soul who would have numbered seven
Is testing all her faith in heaven
A dark weight your small light cannot leaven
As you listened for the comforts left unspoken
Rejecting as you must an awkward token
A promise first deferred and finally broken
Still you believed, but mustn’t touch
Still you believed, but not too much
Still you believed she did her best
Until it seemed that all her grief
Could settle into your belief, and finally rest
As you believed
Doctor I don’t need you anymore
I’ve met the man you must have cured me for
With a name no harder to pronounce
That I never once heard you denounce
All your silent treatments might announce
That your loyalty so stubborn once excited
Would will away the doubts our faults ignited
Our fragility unguessed at while we slighted
All you believed, but we did not
While you believed, we only thought
Well you believed, and treacherous,
For now it seems that in our grief
We’ve found the depths of your belief in us
As you believed, you believed, you believed.

credits

from As You Believed, released November 20, 2010

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Kathy Sparling Berkeley, California

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